You Know. For Freaks.

You Know. For Kids.

Dave, I Hardly Knew Ye

I'm working with Nell this year on Warehouse 13. I hope I can crack a good fart joke.

  • I was the second female writer ever hired at Late Night. When I applied for the job in 1988, I had no way of knowing how much the odds were stacked against me. In 27 years, Late Night and Late Show have hired only seven female writers. These seven women have spent a total of 17 years on staff combined. By extrapolation, male writers have racked up a collective 378 years writing jokes for Dave (based on an average writing room of 14 men, the size of the current Late Show staff).

How I Got the Flu

From Robert Krulwich at NPR.

Probably Bad News

You've no doubt seen late-night comics displaying odd local news headlines. If you like the joke (and who doesn't?), get your fix here.

On the Media

NPR's On the Media is a terrific weekly distillation of how the world was interpreted (with some snarky, wise-acre attitude) by our various news orgs. Recently, they devoted their hour to the trials of the music industry. In short order I expect a radio doc on the history-repeating-itself (or not) tribulations of the network TV biz. Here's the first 12 minutes of "The Future of the Music Industry." You can hear the whole thing from their site for free or via iTunes, also free.

"V" The First 8 Minutes

ABC is shoving the first 8 minutes of "V" out to the world. Kind have seen it all before.

Warehouse 13 Nom'd for People's Choice Award

Winners announced in January. Vote!

Update: Well, not quite "nominated." More like nominated to be nominated.

Tapdancing on Roller Skates

We've all had the experience. Work is crazy. Life is crazier. Gene Kelly makes it art.

Sweet fancy Moses.

Go Podcast, Young Person

I do a podcast with Marc Zicree. I found Dan Benjamin's original article to be a great help in getting started. He's updated his advice. If you're interested in the possibilities, check it out.

Vic Mizzy

The recently departed Vic Mizzy composed, among other things, the score to a film that changed my pre-adolescent life. Until then I'd no idea that scary could be funny.

Saw this movie with my dad. I'd never seen him laugh so hard as when Knotts tried to get into that unsteady elevator.

What Recession?

Apple rocks it. CNEThas the details.
  • Apple recorded revenue of $9.87 billion and earnings of $1.67 billion, or $1.82 per share. That's up from the $7.9 billion in revenue and $1.26 per share of a year ago. And that easily fell within the range of what Wall Street was hoping for. Analysts had been expecting earnings per share somewhere between $1.24 and $1.72, and revenue between $8.74 billion and $10.55 billion.

Shut the Tweet Up

It was only a matter of time. Employee contracts are showing up with Twitter/Facebook clauses.

Working for Fox

A few years ago I was employed as a writer working on several Fox Network TV shows. Even then, while the paycheck was nice, I had some qualms about working for an organization whose news division was so... well, idiotic. And dangerous. Now Newsweek's Jacob Weisberg has a few thoughts.

  • That Rupert Murdoch may tilt the news rightward more for commercial than ideological reasons is beside the point. What matters is the way that Fox's model has invaded the bloodstream of the American media. By showing that ideologically distorted news can drive ratings, Ailes has provoked his rivals at CNN and MSNBC to develop a variety of populist and ideological takes on the news. In this way, Fox hasn't just corrupted its own coverage. Its example has made all of cable news unpleasant and unreliable.
My next job offer from Fox, if there is one, will be met with some serious consideration.

  • And weepy Glenn Beck has begun to exhibit a Strangelovean concern about government invading our bloodstream by vaccinating people for swine flu. With this misinformation campaign, Fox stands to become the first network to actively try to kill its viewers.

Update: Jason Linkins on Huff Post. Some galling video, too.

Newspapers Lose the Paper

It's going to happen. And with this, subscription-based "print" media will finally be justified.

From Wired: Picture a free magazine app that offers one sample issue and the ability to purchase future issues afterward. Or a newspaper app that only displays text articles with pictures, but paying a fee within the app unlocks an entire new digital experience packed with music and video. This is an example of the “freemium” model that Wired magazine’s Chris Anderson explains in his book Free. It’s a model that some publishers, including Wired’s parent company Condé Nast, are already experimenting with on their websites. (Our sister publication Ars Technica, for example, offers its general content for free, as well as a “Premier” subscription option for readers to access exclusive content.)

500 Pound Apple Gorilla

From Forbes...

Fanboy Alert: I was born without a sports gene but do have a substantial "win one for the, Gipper" mentality. And I mean the real Gipp, not Reagan. Comes from being raised within spitting distance of Notre Dame, I guess. Anyway, for years I suffered along with everyone else who knew in their techno-hearts that Apple was the best thing going. And for years it was going down the drain. Nice to see it in juggernaut mode.

  • The Cupertino, Calif.-based gizmo and computer company's earnings are expected to jump 14% Monday when it reports results for the quarter ended September.

I know. What goes up, must come down. But the company had been down for so long and so derided that this new lease on life (for Jobs, too) is sweet.

  • So, what will it take to hurt Apple? Who knows. Maybe if things start going right, for a change. Bad news--and outright weird news--has only made these guys stronger. The takeaway: If aliens invade, go long on Apple.


Comedian Marc Maron makes me laugh. These guys make me howl. iTunes required.

Hammer Time

Growing up in Indiana in the early '70s the heady mix of my father's Playboy collection in his sock drawer and Hammer films at the State Theater provided plenty of, well, grist. Watching Chris Lee stalk a voluptuous lady Brit was thrilling and terrifying. Adolescent lust, indeed. Seems I wasn't alone.

Time Capsule: Dead

Screen shot 2009-10-15 at 2.59.42 PM
Count me in as one of the unlucky few. Damn thing never worked.

The Nautilus

Screen shot 2009-10-15 at 10.52.32 AM
Folks who know me (and have seen my home office) know that I have a thing (putting it mildly) for a piece of Harper Goff-designed movie brilliance. The Nautilus from Disney's 1954 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea has been a fascination for me since childhood. Looks like there's a another version of the boat out there for me to get my hands on.

Not to mention
this bit of artistic genius.


Everyday I get closer to cutting the satellite mainline to my TV artery and going totally digital. The latest salvo was delivered by Netflix's Roku box. Streaming movies and TV shows via Roku beats Apple's AppleTV hands down. Worth checking out if you have a Netflix subscription (or even if you don't). Add in Amazon's video streaming offerings and it's harder to ignore. C/Net Review.

Stanley Kubrick on The Zicree Simkins Podcast

How cool is this? While reading John Gruber's excellent Daring Fireball I landed on his linked posting of a 1966 interview with Stanley Kubrick by Jeremy Bernstein. So, in true internet swipey-stealy fashion, I grabbed it for the podcast I do with Marc Zicree.

For cool things Kubrick,
check this out. When you're done there, go explore here. Great site. Great webness.

Gearing Up for Season 2

The Warehouse 13 writers' room is slated to start up on November 2. In addition to many of our returning Season One staff (Jack Kenny, me, Drew Greenberg, Bob Goodman, Deric Hughes, Ben Raab, Tamara Becher) we have some new faces at the table. Mike Fox and Ian Stokes (last season's script coordinator and writers' assistant) have joined the ranks. Also on board are Andrew Kriesberg and Nell Scovell. It's a great group.

The goal is to get as many scripts written as possible before production starts (in Toronto) in early spring. We're trying to avoid the snow. And the cold. And the snow. Did I mention the snow?

We've got a lot of story threads to address and, just like you, we've got plenty of ideas toward ramping things up, keeping things fun and thrilling. We've have spent the hiatus chilling, digging into artifact research and ruminating on Pete, Myka, Artie, Leena, Claudia, Mrs. Frederic and MacPherson. They're a great, dysfunctional family full of hopes, secrets, lies, loyalties and betrayals. Can't wait to dig in.

And if anybody's noticed (probably not) I took myself off Facebook and Twitter. Both venues were weighing on me. Keeping up, keeping clever and keeping my mouth shut was just too difficult. Apparently, I'm in good company: Miley Cyrus also canned Twitter.

To catch season of Warehouse 13, check out
Hulu or Warehouse 13 on Syfy's site.

Thanks for watching. We wouldn't be here without you.